How Quin and Shawn Met

Our Story

So, I have this really cool husband, and I feel like you all should know us better and know our story.

Shawn is a wonderful amazing human who somehow thinks all my dreams are awesome, so here we are.

For all those who think dating sites are foolish, please take our story as an idea of how things can work out. Yes we are “those people” you hear about as the friend of a friend at parties.

Shawn and I met on Tinder in 2017, April 15 in fact. I know this because I was at my cousin’s bonspiel (that’s curlingspeak for those that may not be of the canadaian persuasion) and it was game two of the Toronto Maple Leafs/Washington Capitals playoff series. So no matter what I’ll always know what day we met because I can google both of these events and verify it.

I have a terrible relationship history as many do. It is hard when you’re neurodivergent and hella traumatized to understand how to conduct intimate relationships. I have a wonderful therapist and we have worked together a long time. After my last relationship DISASTER (cause domestic abuse is awful) she asked me to make a checklist of what I would want going forward in relationships. So I came up with a 176 point list. Yes, hell yes, I was going to be picky. I was already divorced once, I had lived through multiple circumstances of abusive relationships, I’d been cheated on, my relationships were a wreck and I wasn’t getting caught out again.

So, when you’re avoiding relationships and just trying to uh “make friends” you get a tinder, right? That’s just what you do. Well, Shawn and I matched because when I went to the bonspiel it put me in range of him in Cambridge. Thanks Tinder, I suppose we’re a success story.

Neither of us were looking for a relationship. Which seems a great way to start right?

He had a picture of him and his cat in his first picture. My super suave opening line was “please tell me your cat’s name is dickface” because, well, I’ll put in a picture and you’ll understand why.

I was talking to him about being at my cousin’s bonspiel (Shawn and his family were full of curlers) which apparently earned me some points. Then we started talking hockey (yes I’m a Leafs fan, judge me) and he isn’t so obviously he was cheering for Washington to knock out Toronto (He’s a Sabres fan). So we decided to meet up at my preferred pub to watch the game. Safety first for the afab human. The deal was if Toronto wins he buys the beer, if Washington wins, I buy the beer.

Shawn bought the beers.

We got along all too well, our values and goals aligned all too well. It was the bliss you expect from silly rom coms.

We were having so much fun until he got accepted into the military and it became do or die. Okay, that may be a bit dramatic, but suddenly we had to decide if we were doing this relationship thing or not. We got married January 1st on a dear friend’s front porch, and the rest as they say, is history.

Quin Poxleitner